never lie in oral exams - your mum will probably hate you.

2 down, 6 more to go. Started on the 8th May, finish on the 8th June. And yes this is a competition. I clearly win.. and lose, seeing as i’m the unlucky twat who has been given the pleasure of having to sit 8 exams. Second year is slowly but surely killing me! On top of that, i’m the biggest drama queen going, so things will be expressed ten times worst than reality. I’ve resorted to venting my anger on here, leaving the pack of chocolate digestives far away from my reach - not that this makes a difference now, seeing as I’ve already eaten the whole of its contents.

Oral exams are over, which are undoubtedly the most stressful part of a language students exam period. French went pretty well, considering I blagged the whole thing. Being given the hugely feminine topic of sport, I spoke about how i’m an avid Arsenal supporter, go to near on every match played at the Emirates, and how I just love football when it unites us all.. What a loada bollocks. I feel obliged to support Arsenal because my mum and brother wouldn’t like me much if I didn’t. When the examiner asked if supporting Arsenal brought disputes to the family, I did something to my mother that was deemed even worst than simply not being a fan of the club.. I told the examiner that “yes, football does cause disputes in our family.. because my mum is a Tottenham supporter". This clearly brought in a wave of conversation, seeing as the lovely french lady had no idea why this would cause disputes.. She had much to learn.

When my mum asked what we spoke about in the exam, I said “oh, you know, about how sport is an instrument of social cohesion, supporting Arsenal.. the usual.. and erm, something about you and Tottenham, but that doesn’t matter, so how’s work?" There was silence, until my mum finally took in what I’d just said.. “you did.. WHAT?!" She then went on to say how it was totally unfair that I’d said she was the Tottenham fan; “why didn’t you say your father was? And are you sure you’re allowed to lie in your exam?" Yes mother, I can say whatever I like. Because believe it or not, the french lady does not have a folder containing the ins and outs of my life, which she can whip out when I say something believed to be a lie, and say: “oh sorry, i’m going to have to stop you there, because you’re actually lying. It says here, your mother is in fact an Arsenal supporter". Thanks for the laughs mum.

Russian oral was not as interesting, actually more like a disaster, so I think we’ll leave that one. Now to stop procrastinating, and get on with revision for the 6 exams looming over my strangely large head.